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墨書 Inktalez
Rain?
I closed my eyes, and the scene of the rain vividly emerged in my mind. I thought of how he stubbornly refused to mention the name of the person in his heart, and then my thoughts drifted to the dream I just had—the pale face of my sister and the blood flowing in a winding trail on the floor...
“Lin Fengyi, you heartless man! You killed my sister; it was you who killed her!”
My emotions felt as if they were controlled by another person within me, with joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness completely beyond my control.
Once the image of my sister's suicide surfaced in my mind, I felt as if I had suddenly transformed into someone else—irritable and furious, consumed by a singular desire to kill him for revenge.
“Chang Huan, it wasn’t me! I didn’t want this! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Chang Huan!” Lin Fengyi slowly crouched down in front of me, like a helpless child. He was pleading for my forgiveness, looking so fragile and humble.
The other soul within me seemed to gradually fall asleep. I turned my face away from him, feeling my emotions stabilize little by little.
I remained silent, but tears fell in large drops onto my pillow.
I dared not turn around, dared not look at him, and even more so, dared not let him see how vulnerable I was.
Yes, I was sick! For the past three years, my emotions had been in constant turmoil.
The doctor said that I had suffered too much trauma from my sister's death; my psyche had become fragile and irritable. I often found myself inexplicably angry and even resorted to extreme actions.
I heard the careful sound of a door closing and a helpless sigh, realizing that Lin Fengyi had left. Only then did I dare to cover myself with the blanket and let out a loud cry.
I could never let go of my sister's death, nor could I forget my love for Lin Fengyi. I felt that I owed everyone, and the only thing I could do was to torment myself endlessly.
The rainy season in Shanghai gradually passed, and the gloom that had accumulated in my heart began to dissipate little by little. It seemed that I was no longer as quick to anger as I used to be.
The Doctor said I was slowly getting better.
One day, with nothing to do, I wandered into Lin Fengyi's study, intending to find a book to read. My gaze swept back and forth across the bookshelf, but suddenly it was drawn to a glaring splash of red on the desk.
It was a stack of wedding invitations that had yet to be sent out. I gently opened one, but it felt as if I were frozen in place, unable to muster the strength to close it again. The invitation slipped slowly from my hand and floated down to my feet.
On it were neatly written names—Lin Fengyi and Cheng Ruoyao.
My feet seemed uncontrollable as they stomped repeatedly on the invitation.
Catching sight of the remaining invitations on the desk, I furiously tore them apart, throwing my hands up as the red fragments rained down like droplets, hitting my face and heart. It was truly ridiculous.
Lin Fengyi, I really misjudged him. Once, I tried to believe his words, tried to convince myself that my sister's death had nothing to do with him, that she had simply loved too obsessively. But now this wedding invitation served as undeniable proof of his cold-heartedness. How could I ever convince myself to forgive him?
When Lin Fengyi returned, it was already midnight. The living room was dark; no lights were on. I had sent away all the servants, leaving only myself quietly sitting on the sofa, my eyes shimmering with a fierce light in the darkness, not daring to relax for even a moment.
I heard him open the door, followed by the sound of him changing into slippers by the hallway, then he reached out to turn on the light.
As the light suddenly illuminated the room, I stood right in front of him. A flicker of surprise crossed his eyes. "Chang Huan? Why aren't you asleep?" His eyes were red, and his voice carried a weary rasp.
“Don’t you have anything to say to me?” I stood my ground, my palms tightly clenched behind my back, struggling to control my emotions.
Lin Fengyi looked at me in confusion, and then as if a thought struck him, he smiled and said, “Actually, there is something I wanted to tell you. In a few days, I’ve arranged for you to study abroad in the UK. It might be a good chance for you to clear your mind.”
“So you’ve already made arrangements!”
I pulled out a crumpled wedding invitation from behind me and threw it forcefully at Lin Fengyi. Watching his shocked expression, I coldly mocked, “In just half a month, it will be your wedding with Cheng Ruoyao. You’re worried I might ruin your plans, so you’re trying to send me off to the UK. Lin Fengyi, I really underestimated you!”
I saw his face shift from panic to gloom, and then finally return to calmness. My anger surged within me: “Lin Fengyi, how can you do this and still face my sister?”
This was the first time I had ever called his name with such gritted teeth.
My hatred had reached its peak; it was even difficult to treat him as a stranger.
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